Thursday, December 25, 2008

Its Here!!

Merry Christmas everybody! In this time don't forget to relish the small things. Enjoy your family and friends. Remember the real reason for the season. Count your blessings and be kind.

Now... next week is the end and the start of things that have past and of new beginnings yet to come. Please remember change is coming and bad times don't always last. Sometimes in the mist of crazy times there are some good times (no matter how small).

Thanks for reading peace and blessing everybody.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


Play this while reading....It's a nice sobering effect

Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down
Oh I'll never know what makes this man
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away

Oh Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down
Oh twice as much aint twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees

Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me
Oh gravity has taken better men than me how can that be?

Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is

Come on keep me where the light is
Come on keep me where the light is
Come on keep me where,
keep me where the light is

-John Mayer


You heard the old saying "You only live once"?
Well that may be true and to some extent we all should live life to it's fullest
because this isn't a dress rehearsal...but, and yes its a big BUT
Whatever you do, whatever your choices there are consequences
You have to know that, when living in the moment because tomorrow isn't promised
Because in most cases tomorrow comes
So when it does can you handle looking in the mirror dealing with whatever
decisions pull at your heart strings.

Sometimes living life to its fullest means making
sound decisions and choices that you know
in the long run make you feel far better
than the feeling you get being caught up
in one of life's many moments......

So just remember to be true to thy own self
don't live for anyone else but yourself
after all you have to live with you
not anyone else...

Monday, December 22, 2008


That old pursuit of happiness never ends....
I realized that no matter what we say, we the people are never happy.
You know the whole "if I only had more money, a nicer car, a bigger house, less weight, more weight, bigger breast, smaller breast, bigger butt, smaller butt, a larger penis, flatter stomach, long hair, short hair, a husband, a wifey, a better husband , a better wifey. I mean I could go on for hours listing the things that if only we had, then we would be happy. The thing about it is we still would be in pursuit of the next thing that we claim is the vain of or happiness.
The question is when does it ever end? I know that I too am guilty of this never ending pursuit myself.
It sucks really, because right now I'm not happy I need more money, another car, two homes, a great husband, less weight, perfect teeth, and children who do everything absolutely right. And that's the condensed version.
After a great weekend I came to realized that I still was not happy. The happiness I was experiencing was only temporary. What I think can bring me happiness is all wrong.
I (like alot of people) have yet to succumb to the fact that it all resides from within. That type of pure and good JOY can only come from God himself. I can't even begin to imagine the pain he must feel to be so unappreciated. Especially by those who say they know him. Like myself....
I alot of times I am so determined to have it my way that I become my biggest problem. I get in the way of my own true happiness, joy or whatever its called these days.
Those other things are all external and if taken away...our happiness is gone. Some cases it fades away even when we have those things forever.
Don't get me wrong I know that wanting those things isn't wrong. Hell I still want those things and then some.
I am just challenging you and myself to find a true happiness from within. I know for me its continuing to nurture that personal relationship with my God. I know he will always be with me nor will he forsake me.

Now as far LOVE.....sighhhh. I am scared sh*tless of that very thing I say I want to feel and for someone to feel for me. To have that happen you have to let yourself become wide open. You have to allow yourself to become so vulnerable. Now that boys and girls is extremely horrifying to me! After Eeyore and countless others I'm a bit edgy and very drained emotionally. I'd rather have the flu for thirty days than get hurt again.
I mean this dating thing is fun because the guy buys you dinner and opens your car door. They flatter you and what girly girl wouldn't love that. The initial meetings if there is chemistry lead to second dates but to be quite honest there aren't many second dates. However I have made some cool friends. Now for the few second dates... if you are really feeling the person you go into getting to know you mode.
The strange thing is that's where I get all weired. I don't want to show too much interest because I actually do care if they aren't interested in me. Now why wouldn't they be I'm so intelligent, talented, electrifying, exciting, creative, articulate, sensitive, perceptive, beautiful and sexy. However I won't toot my horn right now.

Okay its pretty obvious that The RichAnt wants to settled down with someone who drinks my dirty bath water. I don't mean that literally for those of you into that kinda thang. However it is hard because I want this like MAN recipe that even I'm still figuring out the ingredients too. I am learning... so if you have the qualities listed below please respond lol!

The RichAnt Man Ingredients:
*OWN PLACE (one of us has too) nng
*CAN COOK (and or can afford to dine me)
*STAMINA (we can discuss more on that one later) nng
*LOVES MY CHILDREN (we are a package deal) nng
*LOVES ANIMALS (cats and dogs)

*nng means non-negotiable
That's all for now.
This list is subject to change without notice, its my prerogative.
Now Gentlemen start your engines the winner gets me and to the right one I'm willing to give it another try.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Shop Talk and Night Life

Okay I know I'm suppose to do a list about my favorite things but I may possibly need a computer geek to help me with me Laptop. Its just not acting right at all.
So for now I am blogging on my BB again.
Its Saturday and I'm in between clients. I think the shampoo assistants are back there holding the clients hostage.
I should go see what's the hold up but I'm way too lazy to walk back there. Besides then I wouldn't be here blogging to you.

When I get off work I have a few things to do. I have to get a pedicure and then a nap because I'm going out with a gentleman caller that I've been out with a few times.

Yep its the weekend and the children will be over Dads house. So I am going to hang out this weekend with the grown and sexy people. I'm even going to a X-mas party with a few girlfriends at some swanky new club. Its suppose to be a very diverse crowd.

I like this weekend life. I'm going to wear a SharylB design. You know something off the shoulder with some pretty cleavage. I think some skinny jeans and a pair of my Carlos Santana platform pumps. Then rock the whole thing with some shiny bobbles and bangles. Of course my face and hair will be fantabulous!

My date is so sweet and accommodating. These weren't our original plans but he thinks I'm such hot stuff he doesn't care about what we do as long as he is with me.

The funny thing is I invited another gentleman friend to come but hey Ultra Violet has informed me that she will be there. So she will have no problem what so ever being charming and friendly to both of them while they remain clueless.

Oh wow here comes my client! My gosh what took them so long. Ooh and where is her cape mmm mmm mmm good help is so hard to find....

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Bloggin on my Blackberry

For some reason I had a better internet connection when I had no internet service. Well folks I'm all settled in here at the Le'Dan'bury Bullock Estate. So far hmmm its okay. I had to stay home and clean my room and for go my date on Saturday. Oh yeah and check in periodically during the day and come straight home because I'm being timed.
I ran into some old childhood friends and stopped to talk with them for a minute. I got question about a flat tire when I got home.

So now I'm just battling internet connections and where to put the last bit of stuff that's in my room on the floor. Because heaven forbid I use the percious storage for uuhhh humm I don't know maybe STORAGE!

Oh yeah....I have put together a list of my favorite things. In lue of the holiday song "My Favorite Things" except I took pics of them and well I have to internet. So stay tuned....

Also stay tuned for the Lemonade Award.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Where has my spirit gone?

I'm not in the Christmas mood. I don't feel the holiday cheer. Last year this time we had trimmed the tree on Thanksgiving evening and the house smelled like cinnamon and pine. The fire was crackling.(Well the fake one anyway) I had decorations everywhere.I even had Christmas playing in the house or in the car. It just felt like the happy holidays. I even enjoyed the malls. And to tell you the truth I didn't spend a lot of money. I had what I needed and there were always people stopping by. I had plenty of food, wine, and spirits to give. I love to give it feels good. My time, my love filled cooking, my happy energy, and yes even my money. Especially during the holidays. It feels good to give all year long. But this year there is a void I have a sadness in my heart.I don't know if its the craziness in the world or the craziness in my life or both.

Maybe the church programs will help me feel better. I just can't seem to get excited about anything right now.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Spenders anonymous..... I have a problem!

Okay people don't panic I haven't spent anymore major money. No handbags or Uggs just bull@#$% money that adds up to even bigger BS.

I've been told that I have a hole in the bottom of my purse. Money just seems to leave me at an alarming rate! So all day long I was determined to do the exact opposite of what my sub-consciousness would do. It was like having the devil and angel in my shoulders.

I had to go to Target to get some feminine hygiene products (cheaper than Safeway). Then Staples to get a flash drive and then the Petsmart for cat food.

Okay first Target: Clothing, music, snacks, and accessories. Not to mention the cute dollar section right in front of the store!
Second Staples: nothing except what I need (at least so I thought). Pretty journals, flexible colorful keypads, and I stopped looking before I got tempted.
Third Petsmart: hmmm just cat food it wasn't hard to go in there.
Anywayz I'm just saying all that I purchased were the things I was suppose to get and that's all. I came very close to purchasing some dollar items at Target but I was steadfast and focused. At least today a success.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I miss you guys!

I must say that I have been very distracted with stuff going on everywhere. I realized I haven't post nor have I read the post of the bloggers I follow.

The world we live in is totally insane! The news is very informative but way too depressing! I mean my God between all the murder, mayhem, and foolishness on top of the crumbling economy...just shoot me.

Now on a lighter less sobering topic...I need a personal life guru. Kind of like a hmmmmm talking, nagging , stay on your back, human agenda book. Who also reminds you to get up early, eat right, exercises, be on time, and complete all task outlined for the day in a timely matter.

Yeah that's right people I want to be Martha Stewart....not just in a crafty multi-talented kinda way but she seems pretty well organized. I just want to complete the things that I want and don't want to do in a timely fashion. That way I don't constantly find myself rushing frantically about wishing I could start my day over.

I mean surely if I get this thing called time management together that will probably unlock so many doors to my destine to be rich life that I have somewhere in a parallel universe.

Sighhhhhhhh huhhhhhhhh as I sit here staring at the still hundreds of things that I need to decide on whether they go in storage or the castle.

Okay I know you all have been wondering how my "Dating Life" has been going....

Fantabulous, Amazing, I'm Glowing!!!!!

Yes people I gots my groove, mojo, swagger whatever its called these days back!
The emails and instant messaging and quick lunch rendezvous or even dinner, have been awesome to say the least. If anyone didn't know before they need to know now that gentlemen callers that wine you, dine you, and all while flattering you is just what the good doc ordered.
My head Diva consultant likes to call it the three F's food, fun, and flattery.

Oh yeah an update my alter ego Violet is now known as Ultra Violet! Beyonce' ain't the only one with one. I am having a ball but even this needs some better time management.

Oh yeah did I mention I'm still packing....YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!

Darn it! I'm watching late night talk shows you know after the news... and I'll be darned I can't remember my train of thought! That damn Letterman... actually I'm watching the guy that comes on after him and laughing out loud but I can never remember his name.

Oh well I'll just conclude this post for now but before I go....The winners of my blog comments are: Anonymous1&2 and Rhiangel tis the season to be giving so Happy Holidays! Email me your info.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Independence with my head!

Well I guess the whole "please leave comments on my blog" isn't working or no one is reading....

Well I suppose for now its cool. I just enjoy doing what I do. Well thank you anonymous and it looks like tomorrow you will be the winner!

Now getting on to the reality show of my life. People are funny and I truly don't mean in a comical since either. Okay everyone knows that I've been dating. Well in the dating world there will be hits and misses. More misses than hits and that's to be expected. So the date from Saturday wasn't the most awesome detailed inspiring night...but I thought maybe one or two more dates I could tell if he was worth exploring. WRONG wrong wrong and I'm not even mad. I would prefer people show their true intentions right from the start. Cut to the chase people, please by all means.

Okay now, after seeking the advice of some well seasoned DIVA's I accepted invitations from gentlemen callers that are much older than I.

To my surprise.... I can't believe I didn't explore this sooner! Its the older ones who seem to love my profile! I mean I don't blame them of course...whats not to love. Hehehe.
They are usually very well established and have a clear picture of what they want and like. And they don't have time for the BS. They also don't seem to be very nasty men either. Meaning they are very selective about they woman the choose to entertain. Not all but most of the older men I've chatted with....

Well anywayz I met a 52 year old guy for coffee last night and we sat and talked for a good while. We even talked for awhile when we got in for the evening.

Now here is were people blow you.....

On my way in I made a phone call to one of my family members "the queen".

*hmmmm idea for {labels} ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "The Queen"

She asked how my day went and I proceeded to tell her. Work was great I even did a call in for a full sewn in weave. The lady came all the way from the eastern shore! Then I told her I was coming from a quick mini date at the coffee house and how I had such a lovely time. My day was excellent in my opinion. "The Queen" asked if it was the same guy from Saturday. I told her no and that that date didn't work out. I was telling her how nice the guy was when SCCCRRRRRRHHHH!!!...."The Queen" interrupts me and says that if I plan to live in her castle "There will be none of that". OFF WITH MY HEAD! She proceeded to tell me how much she didn't like my serial dating and how these men could follow me home. (as if a crazy person couldn't randomly follow me home from any public place)

Now don't get me all wrong. I understand that there are some sick people out there. However as time and work gets tighter in today's fast paste world. You have to evolve. Especially if you want a life. The Internet can be dangerous but it can also be very helpful. Just like meeting someone at a bar or grocery store can also be dangerous.
However when someone tries to suppress your consciousness because of their own dislikes and hang ups it is such a kill joy.

But to add insult to injury "The Queen" tells me I don't need to be worrying about no date at this time right now anyway! OFF WITH MY HEAD!

I know because being 35 and moving in with "The Queen" with two children because I need to do some major regrouping and I'm fat. All that makes me and undesirable candidate anyway. Because that's whats going on right now in my life.

How dare I have the audacity to still want to enjoy my life regardless of my circumstances. I deal enough with my own kill joys of having to pack YUCK! Pay for storage Yuck!... and coming to terms with the fact that I have royally screwed myself up!Yuck! And having to move to the castle. Yuck!
However....everyday that I'm living is a gift from God and its a day to forget about the past nothing can change it. Learn from it and move on. This truly is a wonderful life and its worth living with an exclamation point!!!!!!!

I work and I take care of my children, I praise God, and I want to have me time to do me. Be it painting, blogging, dating, or checking out the latest hot spots in the area's night life.

I'm having fun now....Oh God I'm gonna miss this kitchen! On Turkey Day me and my Kids are going to have a wonderful feast. Our last totally rocking dancing in the kitchen awesome good eats night on Euro. But hey I'm blessed and so Thankful and God truly is good. He just has a since of humor.

The castle will truly make for some good bloggin.....
I laugh at the possibilities.

I'm off to do some grocery shopping and run a few more errands before I go on a late lunch date this afternoon. This guy is 48.....OFF WITH MY HEAD! Chiao....

Sunday, November 23, 2008

I'm dating again....

Okay as you all probably know the lovers that I've that I've talked about in previous blogs are not people. For those of you who didn't get it read labels "My Lovers". They are about the hobbies I love.
Now in recent weeks I've started this whole get a life campaign. Which is weird because I have a laundry list of things to do when not working and spending time with my kids. But as you all know I'd much rather do absolutely none of them. So instead I have found things to do on the weekends either alone or with someone. Then to add to the mix I've decided to get back into dating and meeting new people of the male persuasion. Its been great thus far. I have lots of guys who IM me and I even went out this weekend with a very nice gentleman from a dating website.
Its fun to get dressed up and hang out in DC with some different people. Even if there is no love connection just the whole guy has car and picks you up and takes you to dinner is nice. Although I must say the man I hung out with this weekend was very nice. I would go out with him again.

Hmmm there are so many. I should be busy for quite a while on the weekends. Besides the fact it gives me the opportunity to go to places I've been dying to try. It is also nice that at the end of the evening your date really thinks your great! They adore you so much they can't wait to see you again.
My alter ego her name is Violet. She is sexy, charming, flirtatious, and very self confident. She has the audacity to be free of the hangs ups. She is proud of her thick curvy body. She knows how to throw her head back and laugh while touching her chest. She makes the man feel admired but all the while he is mesmerized by her.

Well its Sunday now and in about 50 minutes I'll be at work. Then after that at 6:30 Communion at church.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Cab Ride

So I walked to the door and knocked. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware. 'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated'. 'Oh, you're such a good boy', she sai d. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?' 'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly. 'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice'. I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.'What route would you like me to take?' I asked. For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing. As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'. We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair. 'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse. 'Nothing,' I said. 'You have to make a living,' she answered.'There are other passengers,' I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. 'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.' I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life. I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away? On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one. PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, ~BUT~ THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL. You won't get any big surprise in 10 days if you send this to ten people. But, you might help make the world a little kinder and more compassionate by sending it on.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Comments Please!!!!

Okay its really becoming annoying that I can't tell who reads! Please comment people...I set it up so that you don't even need an account.

In an effort to get more readers and comments I have decided to have a random give away day. I will give away a 18x24 painting to any reader of my choice who comments between now 11/19/2008 and next Wednesday 11/26/2008 midnight. I will do random give-aways from now til X-Mas once a week. You will have 7 days from the time I announce the winner to post a comment for the next drawing. Gifts may vary week by week.
All comments will be printed out and drawn from a box. I will post winner's comment the next day after deadline.
Thanks to CGGB for this excellent idea! Oh and your JTote is hot! I found one I like!

Just chit chat

I have not had too much to blog about and believe it or not somethings I'd rather just keep in my written journal. Yes its true I don't blog about everything.
Anywayz I would rather do any and everything else than get ready to move again! I am so not looking forward to it. Just the mere thought exhaust me. I haven't even been dumpster diving for boxes. I actually unpacked in record time the last time and set all those boxes out for recycle!
Well this week I've done two things to go with this new Artsy person who goes out and mingles with other like minded people. I joined weight watchers again and joined again. All of which in the past have encouraged me to excersise and give me an extra switch in my step. Its all good inspite of the fact that I'm 35 and will be living with my Granny in the basement with my two teenage kids. I'm still sexy and fabulous. I'll just tell people I'm helping take care of my elderly grandparent...hehehe how cleva! Its funny because I definitely don't want a brotha that lives at home or with a roommate for that matter. One of us has to have it together! Ha ha I crack myself up. Hey you have to laugh at yourself sometimes.
Now hummm what else...I bought some fresh new black clothes for under $100 who knew looking this good could be so darn cheap! Just imagine if I were smaller, the possibilities would be endless!
Oh yeah I remember now! Last night I was on myspace trying to trick out my page and the list from Etsy reminded me of how much I missed them. So went for a visit but my laptop needs a serious overhaul so the chat rooms were impossible to get in. So I browsed around so see some perhaps good X-Mas gifts or inspiration for a painting. I found a lot of both needless to say. I found some of the most beautiful art cards (that are prints Mommy) I really need to get back on my art game especially if I want to be taken seriously.

{Inside thought}
"Why does any Mariah Carey song make me miss Eeyore I'm at work being tortured by a series of beautiful sad music by her. And why does the music play so loud anyway? Its suppose to be back ground noise if I'm not mistaken!"
{Thought over}

Okay so back to art. I wish I had real studio somewhere with great natural open airy space and lots of sunlight. Studios are a great source of inspiration for artistic people. Fashion designers, interior designers, writers, photographers, Sculptors, rappers, and singers. They all need a place separate from the rest of their life. That way they can sit think and draw in the spirit from God to manifest the inspiration to do what it is they do.
Now do not get me wrong some of the best things are created in chaos. However I can speak for many that prefer solitude to create in.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Comfort Zone

Hey all you webheadz Good Morning! I myself am waking up with a headache and it feels like sinus pressure. Where from and why I don't know. Except I do know sometimes its triggered by fatigue. After work yesterday I went home to get a little R&R before venturing off to Georgetown for Fotoweek on M street. I went to an event called Slideluck Potshow. Its a slideshow presentation where its run on donations and potluck dishes or byob. I wanted to present my art work on a 2-d slideshow but I didn't find out about until Friday.
Okay now first getting there was interesting in and of itself. 1. for someone who wants to live in DC I have no real concept of how to get around in the little metropolis. I mean I know things go in alphabetical and numerical order. But just knowing exactly where stuff is I'm so clueless! And guess what, I hate it! I don't apologize for growing up sheltered in the suburbs but part of me wishes I at least drove sooner than later. Say like 16 instead of 24. Maybe even if I would've had a Dad that was normal who had a place in DC. For some odd reason I favor northeast over southeast. mmmmm go figure. Anywayz... I would've perhaps learned these things a long time ago. I mean DUH why didn't I realize M street Northwest meant Georgetown DUH! Totally blonde moment. I laughed at my self once I realized the direction I was heading in.
There was a time when anything west meant high end upper class northwest or southwest now anywhere is fair game. All the hip, young, urban, eclectic, artsy, and predominantly white people are buying up everything and fixing the places up. And guess what they are the ones moving in. They aren't tripp'n that around the corner its a bad area. They just write and call their elected officials and get more police canvasing the area. We just move or deal with or be a part of the problem. Not all of us but alot of us.
Getting back to Fotoweek... I finally made it. Even with GPS I got a little turned around then I had to find parking. I parked in a garage. I kept thinking I hope this is safe I'm out here alone. Which goes to show you how bad I wanted to go. So anyway I walk inside and of course the place is great. People, loud but great music, and a really nice studio. The place had exposed brick everywhere and polished concrete floors, and open airy two story ceilings. Oh and exposed metal ducts. It felt urban and fresh. The displays on the wall were awesome!!!! Mostly photography of various things but some 2-d of artwork was displayed as well. Oh yeah the potluck smelled wonderful so I went to go see about that.
Let's just say there were people gathered everywhere and they don't move when you say excuse me. Nor when you just squeeze and push your self through them. Now I'm hot yet still cute and artsy in all my Gypsieish SharylB designs. However I found the beverages and yes I had to have a glass of wine. The food looked yummy and there were all types of homemade dishes. But then I thought strangers from everywhere bought food...and now strangers from everywhere are serving themselves. I wasn't so hungry anymore needless to say. I had a vision of some non-hand washer just shaking the had of some other non-hand washer/ booger picker who had their hands in that food. No thanks.
I walked around and sipped on my glass slowly because I knew wasn't about to fight through that crowd again to get another beverage. Besides the fact it doesn't take much for me to feel tipsy and I'm driving. I wished someone was with me because you could only stare a the exhibits but so long. People were chit chatting everywhere. I was way out of my comfort zone. Yet thinking "hello this is where you want to be! It's what you've dreamed of! So go talk and mingle" I mean here I was all the way in Georgetown with photographers and artist from DC, New York, Canada, and other places. Yet I was frozen standing there just watching and not saying a word.
Then it dawned on me "these people don't know you nor have they ever heard of you so who cares what they think relax." So that is what I did and I talked to so many interesting people and got names and numbers. I actually had a good time. The slideshow presentation was great although it didn't start on time so when they had an intermission I was ready to go. So I said goodbye to a few of my new acquaintances on my way out, dashed across M st and down into the almost empty garage. Hopped in my ride pushed play on the CD track number two of Terrance Howard and sang along "Shine Through It" as I drove home to Bowie, MD. I came, I conquered, and I left.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

lost in the wilderness


Yesterday I posted a story about a young boy lost in the woods in the darkness.

That little boy was Pastor and Gospel Artist Clint Brown. It was a message that obviously stuck with me.
I'm in my own wilderness if you will. Now although business is so far, better this month than last month. I'm so entrenched in the hole I'm just trying to keep the dirt from falling on top of me.

Yet I still have some small hope that things will be alright. I think about my Grandma in VA. I sure do see her in a different light now.
She has her struggles but she never stops she always perseveres. My other Granny is different in the since that she is financially in a much better place.
I think back to my childhood and they both played very different rolls in my childhood. Granny was definitely more hands on where as my Grandma was even at that time trying to make it. At least that is how it always seemed through my eyes. I sit and try to examine where I've come from and who I've come from to better understand where I'm heading and who the woman in her mid thirties is trying to be.
Pride is a good and a bad thing. Certain things I just don't feel good asking people to do. Some people I know just feel its their birth right to have family & love ones help them. They even shit on you and forget what you have done for them. I can't control that but I have a hard time dealing with asking for people to put themselves out to help me.
I know my problems are not extremely horrible. I just hate to think I'm screwing up my kids in all of this. My parenting is always discussed as layed back. However my kids seem to think I hot stuff. They are my own fan club. They truly toot my horn.

I work in a salon so hours are at times long. They miss me when I'm gone long. I cook dinner late and they still think I'm the bomb. They look forward to our prime time tv as we cuddle up in my bed and watch all the shows. It is them that makes this mess feel so stressful. They deserve stability and monotony.

A Special Request

Once again another lovely day. I haven't found a new place to dwell in because the one in the city is still being occupied and won't be available until its too late. So I'm still on with my quest. Today was work as usual except not. People are so amusing. My client/ friend was truly offended by a co-worker but yet she doesn't realize her part in it. Needless to say that sparked a conversation this morning I was so not trying to have. Interesting thing though... you never know what sets people off these days. (ie my blog) RichAnt is sighing...................and now having a thought??????? and now she is moving on.

I went to church yesterday after work. I haven't been on a Tuesday since before football season. Actually before that because I was working to pay for the move. Gosh its all a big blur. Anyway its our 91st anniversary and we are celebrating by having a revival all week.
I'm glad to be getting back to at least doing that. I need it in so many ways.

I heard a story about a boy who went camping with his father and other brothers. They were all told by their dad to go in different directions and gather some sticks and limbs for fire. Well the young boy was seven at the time. He went in one of the directions his father instructed. He had some toy guns in his holster. He than began to pretend to shoot all the imaginary bad guys out there. The little boy had gotten so engrossed in his playing that he hadn't even realized how far he wondered away. Not to mention darkness had fallen so quickly. (Pause)
You ever notice how when you are somewhere completely dark and scary your sense of sound is exaggerated? Well to this young boy all the sounds of the forest sounded very big and very scary. The young boy then begins to yell DADDY!!!!! DADDY!!!! DADDY!! and he hears no answer. He begins to cry and starts to feel trapped. So he tries once more and yells out as loud as he could DAAADDDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then the voice of a man cries out son I hear you. Then the father proceeds to tell his child just keep calling out my name and I'm coming to get you!

The moral of that story is, that even in your darkness hour just call on the name of Jesus and keep calling out because he will hear the sound of your voice. Even when you feel trapped and scared keep calling JESUS!!!!! JESUS!!!! JESUS!!!! He will help you out of the wilderness. However you must remember to also even in your storm praise his name for this too shall pass. Change is going to come. Just know there is work involved in change. Faith without works is dead. So pray for our new president-elect. No one man can solve our problems but through Christ he is strengthen and can do all things.

I didn't plan to go all gospel on you guys. Some of you may have different beliefs than I do. However I know we can all agree than our country is suffering. The average American is in a financial strain. The new president-elect can not do it alone. Whatever we as citizens can pitch in and do to help, just do it. But for those of you who do believe in the power of prayer we need to be in a constant state of intercessory prayer. Not just for ourselves but for Obama, our other government officials, our families, our friends, our neighbors, co-workers, our allies, and even our enemies. Somebody is praying for us. So usher in the spirits to help turn this economy around.

Peace and Blessings my fellow web friends.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

the first amendment

The freedom of speech without limitation.
In one of my earlier blogs I wrote about somethings that were on my mind do to some circumstances I am going through. Some how it was taken as an insult to one of my fellow anonymous blog followers. I would like to say "don't flatter yourself".
On that particular occasion something special did happen. Which did trigger this long thought process I tend to go off on. So I decided to write about it. Afterwards realizing I went way of course as to what I originally began to blog about in the first place. At first I thought to adhere to the request to not blog about them anymore. Instead I'm going to do the exact opposite. I've done nothing wrong I can't control how my readers interpret my writings. If its on my mind and I feel lead to share than its my right.

Now on a lighter note...
As I go on my quest to find a new home I see more and more what I will miss about this place.
1.Kitchen functionality
•Islands are a must
•carousels for pots & pans
•window over the sink
•good dishwasher
All of these things make cooking so much smoother in my life. I feel as though I can have a cooking show. The idea that I will no longer feel inspired to cook in my new dwellings makes me sad a bit.
Me and the kids have had the nicest time we've had in a long time.
I'm suppose to check out an apartment place in DC. Boy will that be a new and interesting adventure. Not to mention commute. Apartment living is something I haven't done in 10 years. City living I have never done.
Hey its better than feeling like a burden. I'd be able to keep my cats...

OH Yeah I did the loc extensions!!! They turned out great!!! She looks as though she has been growing locs for a couple of years now. You can see pics on my other blog by tomorrow.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Today was a good day. No highs or lows just good in the sense that it was regular. I went to work and church. I looked cute in my outfit. Broke as all get out but I was decked out.

My new baby niece has finally entered the world. She is a healthy 8pd 6oz Scorpio, born today November 9th 2008. Wow she is really here, I mean I knew eventually she was coming but now its weird, a new edition to our family and it seems as if la di da life carring on as usual. Her birth had me reflecting on family for a while today. Its wild how out there in the universe perhaps all these unborn spirits are waiting if and when they will be the next to live here on earth. The only catch is:1. you have no memory of any prior life be it spirit or not. can't pick your destiny (some never make it past an embryo) and 3. you can't pick your family.
I know it sounds crazy but think about it. I mean what if they could choose. I mean wouldn't that be something. Especially for those who think they are doing a good job parenting now. What if they never got picked.

Now after your born to whomever your born too you spend the rest of your young adult life trying to be nothing like them. Thinking that the people you chose to be with ie friends and acquaintances are better just to realize when you get older that they all drive you mad at some point and they feel the same about you. I don't really know where I was going with all this except to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY Rayvn Broadus!!!! Welcome to your life here on earth! Don't screw up. Auntie loves you and can't wait to meet you.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

The Uggs of my life

I love my fellow blogger Clevergirlgoesblog. She truly is a talented person who has a way with words. Anyway this week was a very promising week at the salon. The end of the week really was a bang! The good thing is the early part of next week is going to be a bang as well. I have a busy day at work tomorrow and Monday I'm doing a big ticket service.
That's where the Ugg love came into play. In my little lucy head I reasoned that the love of my Uggs should no longer be through the admiration of someone else's feet. Every person that would walk in with a pair I would follow their feet until I could no longer see the Ugg covered feet with the Ugg label branded on the back. I would begin to act very childish and stomp my feet and poke out my lip with envy.
So then it happened... the loc extensions deposit my client left me. It was the greatest feeling I had felt in a long time. Not to mention deposits mean commitment. That just the deposit!!! I still get more money at the end of the service! yippieeeeee!!!!!! Then the week got even better people were calling for me and needing chemical services. Not to mention two stylist were out of town this weekend.
Okay so I know I was suppose to be hoarding that money for God knows when the next whirl wind of clients are coming. Sighhh but they are my beloved UGGS. I wish I could take a pic and show them too all you judgmental already wearing Ugg boot people. They feel sooooo good on my feet.
Paying Mortgage and other bills $5140(probably more than that), warm soft fury Pewter Uggs $Priceless. Assuming I become homeless they will keep my feet toasty and stylish.
I'm just kidding people but seriously they did bring me the most wonderful temporary high!
Even better than sex. At least that what I'm telling myself.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Change has come!

Sam Cooke says it best!!!!!

I am so proud to have been apart of this process! There are so many that are no longer with us that I wish could be here to witness this historical event. For so many of them have helped to pave the way for this great day to take place. God Bless America heck God Bless mankind period. For we are all made in his image. Its time for us as a country to set aside our differences and work towards healing and rebuilding a better stronger country for our selves, our babies, and their babies!

Monday, November 3, 2008

The 40th birthday to-do list

I read one of the other blogs that talked about November being national blog month so we are encouraged to post every day for the entire month. I think its a wonderful idea except I don't have anything to blog about daily. You see for me a daily blog requires either excellent writing skills or else your just posting a online diary. Which for some people isn't a bad thing but for me I want to talk about things that would keep peoples attention and keep them coming back for more.

Blogging is not as easy as it seems. I really want to take sometime to sit down and thoroughly learn the art of blogging because it can generate a very handsome income. Which in these times I can definitely use. I have also been inspired by another fellow bloggian to post a list of things I'd like to do before turning 40. That gives me a realistic 5 year time line to accomplish major things in yearly increments. Some things on my list aren't meant for all to see so they are coded for me know only. Nor is this list in any specific order.

The RichAnt's 40 things upon being 40 and Fabulous List...


2. Become addicted to saving and then investing

3. Get my degree in The Fine Arts

4. Sell my art in two major city art galleries

5. Establish home ownership in D.C.

6. Acquire a building for my businesses

7. Open them

8. Own two homes one cottage in a small town and one large row home in the city

9. Own land in the islands

10. Travel to abroad

11. Acquire a small apartment in Europe

12. Sell a painting for $25,000

13. Continue to sell art

14. To become well respected in the Art community

15. Learn to play and instrument

16. Write a book

17. Teach my children the business

18. Master the power of duplication.



21. LW

22. GMTF

23. Tummy tuck

24. Be ready to retire by 45

25. Help my Mommy with her dreams

26. Become a vegetarian

27. Reduce my Eco footprint

28. Sky Dive

29. Sharpen my gun skills

30. Run for a cause marathon

31. Show my children the world

32. Volunteer for the homeless

33. Volunteer for battered women

34. Start a mentor program

35. Do a missions with my church

36. Bring my family (Mom, Uncle, Ex-Husband) to Church

37. AHC

38. Completely 100% Organic

39. Make money from my blog

40. Have a Birthday dinner outside with my family and friends (see last thing on wish list)

Maybe this will encourage you all to establish some sort of to-do list before you turn whatever. It doesn't have to be as long or even 5 years. But do it, print it, post it, and read it daily. Even go in and set a small outline for how you are going to achieve each goal.
Oh yeah and remember even though money is tight for all of us, try to find ways through out your day to say THANK YOU! and pay it forward by passing a blessing along to someone else. Look people in the eyes and smile and say good morning or whatever time of day it is. Let people over while driving, hold the door open, give someone a compliment, treat someone to a soda, and do it just because not expecting anything in return. IT IS GOOD FOR YOUR SOUL!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Independence $2500, Peace of Mind priceless.

Hey everybody out there make sure you get out there and vote. Our great country is in big trouble. Our dollar is weaking and our working class is struggling. The crazy thing is the whole entire world is watching to see what America is going to do in this election of who is going to be our next president. Obviously I'm for Barack Obama.
I certainly hope people begin to spend a little money afterwards. I say this to say peace of mind is starting to sound like the better option. However at the moment I'll be interviewing roommates all of next week for a move in on December 1. Independence is still trying to hang in there however peace of mind is a big contender.
I pay alot per month for household expenses! That can pay off a laundry list of things. Wow! Its funny how when you look at the bigger picture how different it looks verses just looking at the smaller part called "right now".
I cook almost everyday me and my children are happy. We all cook together. And dance and bump booties. I paint on the weekends while me and kids sit on the big purple couch and watch movies. During the week we watch all the prime time together. House, Bones, CSI you name it. Now I always knew in the back of my mind not to plant solid roots here. But I was willing to cross that bridge at a later date if need be.
Oh well I'm just trying to allow GOD to order my steps. Perhaps peace of mind is the direction he was leading me to in the first place and I veered off path who knows....

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Peace of Mind or Independence or both...

Okay so my positive upbeat spirit is finding it harder to feel better in these crazy economic times. Especially when there isn't any sunshine.
I recently had some suggestions about how to get back on track which would require some serious humility on my part.
For some reason I am not ready to throw in the towel. Besides I still have a corner to retreat too for now. I am still in this fight for my independence until the bell rings.
Its just something about being very set in my ways and wanting to be my own Queen Bee of my own hive. Now granted I really need to start bringing my A game to this fight because my independence is truly at stake here. I come from strong, intelligent, hard working, resourceful, resilient, creative women. Who's tenacity have shaped and molded me into who I am. So its time to call on The Lord and all my female ancestral goodness and fight as if I had no where else to go!
Whether its doing hair, selling art in some form or fashion, finding a part time or maybe even a roommate on my terms. I have to keep my independence.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Pretty furniture...

You know I wonder why is it that to love your cats you have to sacrifice beautiful furnishings?

I was lucky enough to find in pristine condition the prettiest shade of green, vintage, brocade, Queen Anne sofa and chair. They went so well with my whole artsy eclectic style of home furnishings. I got them at a steal too! The set only cost me $182.00 bucks from the thrift store. Now granted I did eventually want to have them reupholstered in a fuchsia velvet brocade but they were pretty enough to stay as is until then. Noticed I said "were".

Well in addition to my two children I have three fury, four legged, meowing, self licking, counter jumping, liter tracking, fur ball vomiting, furniture scratching felines. Pretty much since I've had my own place (meaning me and the kids) I have had cats. I even had a dog and three cats for about a month. Jack Russell Terrier in a two bedroom condo with three territorial cats wasn't a good idea. So now three houses later I start to feel some small resentment. Not only have I given up my dream of new furniture but I have sacrifice visits from my Mom. Someone who could come and go as much as she pleases with her own key if I didn't have cats. However do too past traumatic childhood experiences she is petrified of my fury felines.

I have Gracie which was the offspring of my first two Hollywood and Lucypearl. Then there is Smokey and Angel who I adopted after a friend of mine who's ex never came back to get them after they broke up. He was just going to let them go. I said "NO!" that is wrong and irresponsible! They aren't even fixed yet.

So anyway...I want my Mommy and my unique style! To put it bluntly my shit is raggedy!!! I have this really nice(not anymore) comfy purple sofa and over sized chair with ottoman in the family room. I got it from Jennifer Convertibles some years back before the kittens. I had what I thought was the more reasonable pet. WRONG!!!!!

Don't get me wrong I love my animals especially Smokey. She is not the prettiest of the bunch but she is the best. Angel is the color of coffee with cream in it, with chocolate brown seal points and Tiffany blue eyes. She is cool just always on the jumpy side. Gracie is slate gray with long hair and the brightest white tuxedo and paws I've ever seen. She has been with me the longest but she is moody, unfriendly, and with three clean boxes through out the house she always eliminates beside the box never inside!!! And well Smokey is just a grayish/brownish striped house tabby with a saggy belly as if she has had too many kittens and now needs a tummy tuck. However she has the best disposition maybe even a little annoying at times. She always wants to cuddle and the weirdest feeling comes over me when I pet her. I'm instantly happy and in the mood to cuddle my damn self. She curls up beside you on the bed and purrs as any happy cat would all night long. She even responds when I'm talking to her as if she understands me.

They are great but I want my Mommy to visit w/o feeling so edgy because she is afraid. I respect that big time. Although I can't relate because I'm not afraid of pets. I've been chased by my fair share of big dogs in my childhood. Back when dogs stayed outside in the backyard and got loose while there owners were at work and neighborhood kids taunted them until the dogs got sick of it and became clever. I even ran from one Great Dane that got loose and step on my untied shoe string and dove head first shoulder second into the concrete sidewalk. Scaring my face and shoulder. The scare still remains on my shoulder to this day.

Needless to say I want it all: My Mommy My Cats and Fabulous furnishings. Just without having to lock them away when she is over for a short visit or to have the guts of my sofa oozing out from being clawed to death by cats who have more than enough things made for them that were overpriced to claw on!!!

To view my dream sofa & other furnishings click on

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Bits and Pieces

These last two days have been so good. I know I keep talking about the little things but they really do count. Between getting my dishwasher to work to taking the day off and hanging with my mommy and getting lost on our way to Super Joanns of Columbia. To having the same art color pencils as your fav HGTV star for a whole lot less $. To eating white chicken chili and passing out on the couch with my kids. The next day was filled with good bits too. Yesterday I enjoyed a productive day at work(bits and pieces) and yes I worked on my day off because right now you do what's necessary. Afterwards my good friend Shelly called and we hung out running errands together. Then that evening Lamont takes the boys to practice.(Bits and pieces) Yay!
Bits and pieces are what get you through life in these crazy uncertain times. God has sustain me thus far even when I feel like I can't get my foot on solid ground...I keep my feet grounded in him and through him I know these times will pass.

However my dear web friends please understand the importance of relishing the bits and pieces. Even if it is something as corny as the dishwasher working.
To lift up your spirits try it. Then say thank you out loud when you stumble upon a bit and piece. Give them a special name or just call them what they are blessings. Either way collect as many through out the day as you can. This way you don't concentrate so hard on what you don't have.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

When nature calls

It seems as if every time my tummy hurts its never at a time when I have nothing to do. Monday night it was right before the end of CSI. I have no cable so there was no rewinding live TV. Anyway that lasted until after midnight. Then there is the place where I always seem to get sick. My job...after having a banana and apple for breakfast. Not to mention all week eating veggies and power walking. I had to have what they (my co-workers) were having. I know I was doing so good. Well I ordered a chicken cheese steak with mayo, ketchup, fried onions and french fries. Plus a strong coke to wash it all down.
This is at umm about noonish. My sons football game starts at 2. I'm done at 1:30 and was talking to my client and then the next thing you know we are both walking from the front of the salon to the back. I let her go first because I knew I would be awhile. However I didn't know it would be that much later. Here it is 4:15 and I have been to my bathroom at home and now here at my Granny's house. I mean my goodness when will it end?!

Grease is the enemy people. Fried food will set you up.
I will definitely be back on track after this.

Anyway I my birthday was a very chilled out day. Next year I'm going to do something spectacular! I guess I'm scared of being disappointed so I make no big deal but that feast is going to happen. Maybe before then if the budget allows for it.

I saw The Secret Life of Bees and they all did such a wonderful job complementing the book. It was a beautiful place to be during a ugly time.
I want to make a place like that to go to when I want to get away from the noise and ugliness that life can sometimes be. Although I'm thankful not to have endured such harsh and outright hate fullness as black people did in those times.
Its subtle racism now which in my opinion can be even more dangerous.

On a lighter note my son won his game and its now 4:25 and yes I'm feeling lighter as I blog on my Blackberry in the powder room at my Granny's. My legs are falling asleep. TTFN

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

It's my birthday

I am the big 35 and it sure would be nice if you felt some type of amazing tingle or some type of euphoric feeling when you get to turn a year older. But either way I am so blessed!!!
Today I woke up at around 6:15am and hit the snooze button only once this time. My kids came and wished me a happy birthday, then I decided to call April so we could go for our morning walk that we've been doing since Sunday. Gwen wasn't coming today so knew it had to be us to keep each other motivated. Do you know when I called her she wasn't going to go. She had laid back down. I started to lay back down too especially since she wasn't coming and its still dark when we leave out in the mornings. Something in me said get up and be the responsible one! God has given you another year and your weight has been affecting your life so get up and do something about it! So I got up and called her back and said April get your ass up. LOL she said if you be around here in front of my house I'll go. It's so funny because I could hear her Husband in the back round telling her to go when I called the first time. I laugh because we all need that extra push sometimes. However I notice slowly but surely when I do what needs to done it makes me consistent like that through out my day.

I have nothing special planned for today except I once and for all want to see everything put in its place. No more cardboard boxes. I am ready to start fooling around with Art again. I think I have a masterpiece brewing inside me. Its for a big canvas though so maybe somebody will get me a gift certificate....or not. I am going to get a few of the smaller cheaper canvases though as a gift to me and fix me self one of my favorite meals but one of the healthier versions.

Well I am about to embark on this 15Th day of October in the year of 2008 and see what small blessings the day brings me. I will most definitely blog about it later. Right now I'm on my way to my mommy's house. She is cooking me some mother's love type food for breakfast. TaTa for now.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

MY birthday is coming.....

Its so funny how now that my B-day is just one day away, I'm not so excited.
I actually come to expect nothing and more nothing. Last year I spent the day at the DMV and someone hit my car that I still one year later haven't had it fixed. Se' La Vi'(that's life). I hope that's how you spell it.
My weekend was pretty good. I made some money to get some pressing things taken care of.
I walked 5miles and then went to church then came to work. Monday I over slept but still it was a productive day. I got my walking in by walking to work. The weather here has been beautiful.
I can't wait to feel a difference in my clothes! Not to mention my energy level.

•black snake skin print Uggs
•purple crochet Uggs
•new laptop
•paint supplies and lots of. them
•for someone to miraculously erase all my bad debt
•to have my entire house painted as is an artist lived there
•to have cool artsy furniture
•to have my cats declawed
•to have a landscaper do my yard for free exactly they way I want(nothing too fancy

And last but not least
•an outside dinner with all my family and friends. Colorful plates, sangrias, a fire pit, lanterns and a big long table to so we all could sit together and feast.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

I'm so happy to have internet again!

I don't know how long this will last but I'm so happy to have Internet. At first I was sitting here lonely and bored in my new house. With a tight budget there has been no extra money for cable or Internet. So I say hmmm maybe the Internet gods will be shining down on me. So I unpacked the laptop and searched for a wireless network and low and behold the Internet gods have given me favor.
Okay so I probably won't be doing any purchasing or banking but hey all the blogging in the world from a real PC instead of my BB is a small pleasure. Like I said prior blog "its the small blessings that you have too relish". Now don't get me wrong I love my BB its the best PDA smart phone investment I could've ever made.

Any who... so your probably wondering "When is The RichAnt going to post a painting" Where is her lover Art. Now now my friends Art is here but he is allowing me to spend a little quality time with Chef. You see with all the weeks of packing and moving there was no time, dishes, or energy to eat a home cooked meals. So the first person I had to turn to was Chef and boy has he taken excellent care of me. Umm I mean one night he had my toes curling it was so good. We have been getting it on first thing in the morning too. He was so good one night I had to run out and get me some while I was on my lunch break the next day.
Oh yeah I almost forgot to tell you! Me and Mr. Walker hooked up for the first time the other day and boy did he wear me out! We got it on before work and after. Shoot the after session had my poor legs on fire! The man is a beast. I had to take it easy my heart was racing and it was so hot. You see Art and Chef like to take it nice and slow they feel as though certain things you just can't rush. Hmp Mr. Walker feels differently, he likes too make sure when its all said and done you pass out once your head hits the pillow.

Okay folks I know Tomorrow is Sunday but after church and work I think I'm going to give all three of them a call Art, Chef and Mr. Walker. Not necessarily in that order but who cares.
I know I know you guys are thinking I'm a hypocrite for going to church and seeing these men but hey folks I never said I was a saint. I know I'm a sinner but I try to put my good foot down and that makes my soul a winner as the Jill Scott would say. So don't be judgemental, be jealous or even better be happy for me. Then go out and get your own or make up one and start a blog about. Tah tah for now. I have some long overdue web browsing to do.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Not quite nostalgia but definitely regrets

You know this was suppose to be a blog about life in the day of an Artist. Well I'm an artist and this is my life. However I don't think this was exactly what I intended. I was thinking something a bit more poetic. Deep sigh and now a big pause.....Okay so it is what it is now moving on. Before I had to interrupt the flow of my mojo. I was falling in love again. Yet still missing that love of a real mans touch. So I called my ex we chatted for a few days and then we hung out. It was a great evening. Except I still am hopelessly in love with him.
We will call him Eeyore. You know like the sad donkey on Winnie The Pooh. Well Eeyore is a dark, depressing, elusive and very seldom a positive man that I met two and a half years ago on match. com. And in that time of knowing him I've put myself way down low on the list of people to love. I loved him more than myself. That my friends is where the regrets come in. If you don't love your self right, how can you expect anyone else too.

It hurts to write this but in a good way. Because I know now. Hell I knew then.He was too hard to get in touch with and sooo many other things that sent red flashing lights to RUN.
Yet I just simply ignored them because he talked all the things that I wanted to hear.
Hindsight is a B@*#O% ! But hey what can you do except learn.
The nostalgia I guess is what attracted me to this man in the first place. He is handsome, smooth clear dark skin. Big sad eyes. Fresh clean haircut and thick curly hair. He always dressed nice when he wasn't in his work uniform. Oh and he smelled so good. Not to mention he was an active member of the church.
I find myself thinking back to when we were new because that was the best time of our relationship. But even then there were things that were not right or that didn't make a bit of sense. But I didn't want to nag.
All I ever wanted was to be the best woman he ever had.
The thing about that is what was he to me. I am a good woman and I deserve the very same love I was giving given to me.
It just took so much pain, time, energy, money,and lack of self worth to realize all of what I know now.
Oh but don't get me wrong old habits die hard. Especially my habit of wanting him. But I do have some new lovers to help me keep my mind off him. Mmm let me give one of them a call.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008


Okay friends I am finally all moved out and moved in. There is a serious sense of peace and calm all of a sudden. Instantly just like that there is a peace that has come over me. Along with the seriousness of knowing I can do this with discipline and a very restricted budget.
But seriously people these last few weeks have been stress filled! However through it all God has been sustaining me! He has sent angels to watch and look out for me. I know he works through people. I also know people have been praying for me and that alone is a blessing. He has truly ordered my steps.
Now on to the next place in my journey.


Mommy you ROCK!!

Thanks Kiya you have been a wonderful help with the paperwork and football practice.

Baby Daddy you alright when you not being a butt head. Thank you for helping me move.

My biggest inspiration are my two sweetikins you guys really helped me a lot! Mommy loves you so very much.

Thanks Shaylah,Tristen Lisa,Ayanna,Dwayne,and Jaden you guys totally help me crush the move in time.

Thanks friends and fans for journeying with me. Don't get off just yet the party has only just begun!!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Its raining and pouring!!

Here it is almost October in a few days. I love this time of year! I love the changing of the leaves and cable knit sweaters. I enjoy seeing people in the neighborhoods decorating their doors and porches with fall reefs and corn and pumpkins. And even though I don't celebrate halloween I do think the decorations are so neat.
I am ready to be settled I have so many ideas to paint on canvas and on walls. Art will definitely be staying over a lot. I want to move him in but then Chef would get jealous. The others just come for visits when I'm in the mood to see them. They all understand... I run this show! They know to drop everything, when I call they come running.

Its time for me to break out my warm apple cider and my famous hot chocolate. I'm at the salon right now. I have to spend some time with the hot and sexy hair stylist. That way I can get me some monies.
However its raining and pouring so Hair stylist doesn't seem to be too busy. I may have to hang out up here with him on Sunday too. I need as much as he can give me. Its amazing watching him work he is so good.

Now I don't know if I have talked about my ex-husband but one of my fellow bloggers Clevergirlgosblog talks about hers. Hehehe... You must read hers its so good. Anyway she has inspired me to blog about mines except not only is he my husband but he is "my babies Daddy". Yep my teenage daughter and pre-teen son is the only thing that ties us together. If they weren't here on the planet we would have absolutely no reason to speak.
Now unlike Clevergirl there is no nostalgia. Just aggravation most days. We were so young I was 19 and he was 22. We have nothing in common now. We barely see eye to eye on raising the kids.
Now let me say this first before I start picking on him.
He is a good Father. I even have a name for him "ManBoy" because he is a man but a boy too. (Texting with a devilish grin)
(Hmm is my client dry yet?) I normally would be too busy to blog at work but with all the rain. Its been pretty slow. :(

Well she is dry and heading my way. So I've introduced you to "ManBoy" and he will have his own label. I also think I want to have a label called "Ex-Files dedicated to the ex's so I can discuss life after ManBoy. Especially my most recent one. Boy did he sell some wolf tickets.

Stay tuned friends its really about to get interesting. Gotta run. Off to make the Hair Gods happy.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

I have a fan!!!

Yay! I have a follower! Its just one but hey I'm totally cool with that. I have people who read but no one ever leaves a comment except my mom and sister. I just love them to pieces. They know and understand the importance of commenting. I know we are busy but come on my friends please for the sake of my sanity COMMENT. Thank you...

Now back to what I was saying. I have a fan. I feel so special.
So anyway I have found a place to live. Or actually it kinda found me. But hey the point is I have a newer improved spacious house! I'm slowly getting all of my stuff out of the old house but I'm a one man show most of the time. And damn it that fat girl I told you all about is still whopping my ass. Whew (deep breath) up and down flights of stairs with boxes. I have to sit down like every ten minutes. No make that five minutes. Hell I'm sitting down now blogging because I's tired and my back hurts. By the way I'm in my new house blogging. Yeah people its filled with all this natural sunlight. Except the dungeon. This place will showcase my art so nicely. Yummy I can't wait!!!
I'd stay here tonight if the water was on already.
Well I best get a move on because I have to run back to the salon soon. I do still have to pay for this nice house.
So off to make the world a better place one bad hair day at a time.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Oh how I love to Blog

Oh how I love to blog let me count the ways. Not only do I love blogging but I love reading them too. Soon as I get set up for wireless internet and cable at the new place I will be adding all kinds of buttons and stuff on here. I definitely want to add some Bloggers I read daily for instance "CleverGirlGosBlog". She is so hilarious and talented. We are both hair stylist and our cats look almost identical but I have no dog or Hubby. Boohoo! Then there is "sewtostaysane" another funny commentary on the life of a seamstress.
Anyway that is just a few but I have more. Right now I do my blogging while on my blackberry. While yes my blackberry is the bomb it still doesn't take the place of high speed internet from your desk top or laptop.

Sooo I am trying my hardest to rock and roll. I have much more packing that needs to be done. I took a nap then had a soda and later had a energy drink yet I still am too tired to get the rest of this stuff in the portable storage bin. Actually I'm a skinny girl living in a fat girls body. So far the fat bitch is winning the battle with obesity. Skinny girl 2pds for lose fat bitch 50pds for gain. I look at that Hidden Valley Ranch commercial and think to myself super size broccoli and cauliflower sides. Yeah right!
Tomorrow I'm off and I am having VVA come pick up all the stuff I'm donating so that I won't have extra clutter and I get a tax break. I wish I could part with more junk but its so hard. Its as if the junk becomes apart of you. That's why they're are people monopolizing off of hoarders like me with storage bins on every major street corner. Hum I should be packing now but I am Blogging. Oh well stay tuned for how much I get done. Chaio.

Soon and very soon...

I found a great place to move too. I get to stay in the area and stay close to work! Yay! I will be all settled in hopefully by this weekend. When I say settled I just mean everything out of my currant home. I mean please... who would I be kidding to think I'd be all unpacked and really settled that fast.
Next month is my birthday so maybe by then. I will just be glad to get back into the swing of things. Me and my lover Art can start making time for each other again. He means so much to me and I miss him so much. Then there is my side toy Chef he inspires me to try new things. He comes by with bottles of wine. Little does he know I sometimes share them with Art.
When I get sometime to myself on the weekends me and Art are going to get down in that house. In the kitchen, living room, dining room, bedroom, bathroom and hell even the kids room. Then I'm going to turn around and have Chef over, heck I might tag team them both its been so long. Put on some good music. Mm mm to tell you the truth I even had a old thing for my little Gardener too. My mojo been gone so long I don't know how to act. I might have all my new neighbors talking. Between Art, Chef,and Gardener they won't know what to think other than I got it going on. Heck it may even spark up a passion for that Hair stylist that used to be so damn hot. It will be good to see all my old flames ignited again. I'm about to turn thirty five why not have them all you only live once. I may even fall for a new one Mr. Walker and really get my heart going he is in such great shape I'm bound to shed some pounds fooling with him. Chef and Walker will have me looking tight. So many lovers and so little time. That's the downfall about the hair stylist because he is so demanding but hey that's the Big daddy that pays the bills so I can't cut him loose.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

I miss my creative mojo

I'll be so glad when I'm not consumed by gloom and doom. I miss painting and etsy. I had so much fun creating the art pieces that I have in my gallery. Gosh I can't wait to pick up a brush again. I just want to be free!! I was falling in love again. I know. I know it isn't as bad as somebody elses bad. I just feel left on hold I am ready to live my life and I'm ready to love again. Art was my new man but right now I'm not ready. I hope Art will still be there waiting to love me when I get myself together. Until then I love you Art and I miss you so much. You have brought me so much pleasure.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Isn't life funny

Sometimes life has a poor taste of humor. Whenever something bad happens we can say that one day we will look back on this day and laugh.
I certainly hope that's the case concerning my dear sister. I know one thing... It would definitely make a good book. A best seller if you will.
As for myself I just want to have some sense of security. My world is crumbling down and so is my family. That hopefulness is now such a struggle to continue to have. I'm sitting here in the Art District of Hyattsville MD and I'm enjoying the best tasting ice coffee from a cafe' called Cafe Azul. They own and occupy one of the live work spaces. I just got finish checking out a place near here. Its a vintage bungalow that is in a historic community. Its a great place to be. I can definitely paint some stuff that would be worthy of any big time gallery. Not to mention the bloggings that would come out of me. Its still an up and coming area but I feel a certain buzz about this artsy place.
I know its a waste of a wish to be able to blink eight times and with those eight blinks change eight peoples lives that are close to me. Change for the good and better. I know that kind of stuff just doesn't happen. Which is why at this present moment I feel like I'm stuck in a tree maze with no way out. There are actual moments when my hearts starts to race and the tears well up in my eyes and I just want to scream.
In the book " The Secret Life Of Bees" there was this character named May and May took on all the badness in the world to the point were it was like it was actually happening to her. I don't quite feel like May but I truly could empathize with where she was coming from.
I know that most of the mess we have in our lives we as humans bring most of it upon ourselves. I know for sure I did. Which in a way makes you realize that you possess the power to change and clean up the mess. However there is always that small minute part where somethings you feel as though you have no control over or power. After all I can't escape myself and I am my own worst enemy.

I sit here and wonder which house out of all the houses I've seen will I get. So far I'm only applying for three. But which three will have me. Everyone wants these mortgage approval requirements for a year lease. If I met those criteria I would be owning and living already in the Art District.
Where is The RichAnt going to live.

Monday, September 1, 2008

The strangest thing happened...

I came home to a crazy junky people less home. I went from three to nine back down to three. However last night I thought it was just me. Well me and my three cats so I thought. I took a good look around to aces what needed to be done in the morning. Then I went up to get ready for bed. I was in the bathroom for awhile because my stomach ached. Afterwards I bathed and got in the bed. I tried to read but the book just wasn't that interesting after reading "The Secret Life Of Bees". So I thought to myself about the mess that awaits me in the morning and decided to get some sleep.

I would say I was sleep for about fifteen minutes when I felt my bed shake as though someone walked by and bumped it. The only thing is I am in my room alone with no cats either. I turned over and looked around but I didn't see what I hoped to be one of my cats but I saw nothing. Yet I know for sure I felt my bed shake! Then I hear this tapping sound. I dismissed it to nothing but the candle la bra on top of my armoir. I turned on my light and decided to play a game of solitaire on my cell phone. When the tapping sound started up again. OKAY! So now I'm getting a little spooked but still thinking there has to be some practical excuse for this tapping sound. So I get up from the bed to investigate this noise.

I walk over to my bedroom door, nope. I listen at the closet door, nope. I look up at the skylight, nope. I hear it by my armoir but I don't see where it could be coming from. So I check the bathroom, nope. I turned back the strongest place that I hear it coming from the armoir. It seemed as if the tapping at sometime got a little more intense when I got closer to where it was coming from. So I looked at my armoir thinking it couldn't be coming from inside. I opened it up and the tapping sound was crystal clear inside. Yet the only thing is... all that's in there are folded clothes. Now see, what happened last night has no crazy movie ending because unlike the star characters I made up my mind quickly that I was getting out of there. I called my girlfriend and when she didn't answer I called my sister. I had her stay on the phone until I got out the house and I wouldn't tell her what I experienced until I got out the house as well. I think not feeding into the weirdness of the house and the noise while I was on the phone inside made me feel like I could exit my house smoothly.

You know the strange thing is I kept telling myself I know God... so there is nothing to be worried about. Then I realized that if God exist so does the devil and God gave me enough sense to know when the feeling in your gut says go than you ought to go.

Now that its sunny outside on this nice Labor day morning I feel okay about going back but if the kids don't come home tonight I will not be sleeping in that house all by myself.

Friday, August 29, 2008


This fine Friday morning I sit here and ponder not only how did I get here but how do I get out of here and how do I not come here ever again.
My baby sis is moving out today. Yep her and her family are moving on to their own place.I should be jumping for joy. I guess I'm thinking about the uncertain move that I too have to make soon.
Its funny because I was on a road to what I thought was a recovery. Now over a period of months I seemed to turned into a complete retard when it comes to finances. Now I will be the first to tell you I've done my fair share of financial screws ups in past years. Especialy with my first house. But why is that when it seems that there is some light at the end of the tunnel. Some how I myself seem to blow it out. I'm a little jealous that she found a home first and had money to move into it. I mean realy...these people want some high deposits.Not only that but will be able to move in with all the comforts and sercurity she would normally be used to. My mom tells me that its a nice house with a great kitchen for someone who loves cooking. Not to mention for some reason I have a feeling she will do just fine. Its not going to be easy but something tells me they meaning her and her kids are going to be okay. As for me I'm very uncertain with very very little money and clout. Were my future lies. So I remain unsure but somehow hopeful. Even in the worst case scenario I'm pretty certain my children will have a place to go.

You know it would be nice to be able in the near future to be so together that financialy that I needed no help from man. I need God yet sometimes I forget to call on him I guess because unknowingly tend to think only I can fix my problems. Or sometimes I'll think this is a job for family member. It never dawns on me that it was him working through family. He put those people in place to help me. (Sighing deeply)
- watched the DNC last night and listened with tears rolling down my eyes at Obamas speach. I never how much things needed change until I heard that speach. His speach gave me new hope too. Now more than ever I feel if he is elected my dreams of being a business owner and entrepenuer are even more closer to grasp.

So today as I journey out into my day even in the mist of uncertainty I'm hopeful for what the future brings as far as my current financial status. I think about my grandma in VA and how she may or may not get to achieve the things she wants in her life but she always still enjoys the journey while trying to get there. Now talk about living life full. I need to learn a thing or two from her.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Stupid Computer and Fios!

I had lunch with my Brother yesterday. My Mommy is making me a butterfly blouse. My Granny is the same. My Sister still lives with me. And last but not least I still haven't started on a damn thing I said I would in my last blog.
I've been trying to re list my art on my Etsy website but they are having technical difficulties at the moment. So is my slow computer, along with the fact that I don't think I'm a big fan of the turtle slowVerizon Fios. When I move I think I'm going back to Comcast.
Soooo anyhoo my days have been long and hectic. The children are back in school and I'm trying so desperately to get my son into the boys and girls club football league. I've been to practice all week yet he still has no equipment. There is sooo much to do but no where near enough time to do it all. AGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I try to keep in mind that every air that I breath is a blessing from God. That every day that I wake up to see another day is also a blessing from God. I wonder sometime if we we've got it all wrong. I wonder if He looks down on us and yells at us the way we yell at the dumb girl in the scary movie. He is probably yelling nooo your going the wrong way!!!!! Danger Danger. Sighhh or maybe he is saying your wasting your precious life chasing after the wrong things. I kind of admire "Gypsy" people. I mean...can you live life to its fullest and have attachments to material things and money. For most of us money or in my case lack there of is what keeps me from living my life to its fullest.
Humm let me dare dream for one be able to take my children on a world tour to all seven continents. To live in a real industrial style loft apartment in NY and be able to live off of painting and selling my art. Yet also have a Victorian style cottage in a small town outside the city with a beautiful floral and vegetable garden. To have time to truly enjoy my two wonderful children. I love them so much. To help my amazing Mom achieve some of her wildest dreams.
Then again maybe I'm not sure what exactly is a full life. My dreams weren't the life of a "Gypsy". Yet I find myself thinking that if I didn't have a certain attachment to keeping certain things a person my age with kids should have.... I would be much happier and less stressed. "Gypsies" have children I'm sure. I use the name or term "Gypsy" very loosely. I just mean a person who kind of goes anyway the wind blows them. Some what nomadic. Sometimes I think that living off of the grid wouldn't be a bad idea. But then I think yeah right Antwanyce who are you kidding.
I guess it just scares me to know that one day that thing called time is going to run out... and when it does what is it that will have really mattered? Will it be more money, having a nice home, seeing the world, working hard 40 hours a week for 40 years, paying bills, trying to give our kids a good life, heck trying to survive or give ourselves a good life. We tell ourselves 'we do what we have to do'. But who made those rules who says we have to do those things? For me as an artist, rules are made to be broken.
I know one thing for sure if people like Barrack Obama a black man from the south side of Chicago can now be the first black democratic nominee, Oprah Winfrey the first black female billionaire, Jay-Z, P Diddy, 50 Cents are all considered hip hop Moguls and on and on. These people came from far more humble beginnings than myself. Yet they have over came hurdles by leaps and bounds. Then I think about the fact that Jesus and his apostles had none of the modern luxuries of that time and their life was full. So how do you keep that in perspective yet still not become complacent?
I read a blog awhile ago about an artist who has the opportunity to live aboard with her husband. Yet part of her still pulls at the typical American dream of the house, the car, and two 1/2 children with the token pet. Once again those subliminal rules rearing their ugly little heads.

I guess I just keep thinking I'm not living my life to its fullest potential. Its like having a fast car that can reach zero to 60 in like 6.5 seconds and getting to top speeds of 225mph yet never driving over 55mph. WTF! Potential is just that "potential" hmmm the possibility of being so much more. I must get out of my head and out of my way and "Just Do It!" Mmm now where have I heard that one before?
My blogs are starting to sound a bit redundant I must either change my life or write a fictional book about someone who has. ;)

Sunday, August 24, 2008

I did it!

I got up early and went to the 8 o' clock service at my church. Now I'm off into the world to work to be continued...

Friday, August 22, 2008

I've got work to do!!

As I sit here and wait for my client to dry I am irritated by the people who keep congregating around my station crowding my already crowed space. I WANT THEM TO MOVE!!! So anyway I have a lot of work to do and I don't know how on earth I'm going to get it all done nor where the energy is going to come from.

Hey people its later on in the evening and I just got finished dumpster diving for moving boxes. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that earlier, because I was at work, so I had to work. I'm moving unfortunately a lot sooner than later. So anyway I'm also driving around everyday looking for houses that would suit my business and personal needs. Its all so crazy. On the bright side I'm hopeful. A new house with new possibilities. Oh yeah I want to go back to school and get my degree in the fine arts by the spring. Also take some classes now this fall. My son wants to play football this season and I'm ready to make a drastic move in the hair business. I know one thing... its time to put my game face on and focus on securing my future and my childrens future. I don't know of I've mentioned my pendants in here before but I've got a few pieces done and painted. I may even go ahead and make them into jewelry. I'll be posting those on etsy soon and re listing my artwork. This move just kind of came up at a time where I am feeling so creative and inspired . But who knows what God has in store for me. The good thing is I'll be all settled in by my birthday and ready to be doing those other things by the end of the year. Here's too change and a bright and adventure filled trip down this road we call life.

Monday, August 18, 2008

new direction

While some things haven't changed. Like my love life...actually that's not entirely true. I have and still am learning to love myself. Taking care of me first has been something I'm slowly discovering isn't a bad thing. Although I still have the biggest love for a certain special someone I now know how to even keep myself from being tangled in that web.

Now for my new love. Yep its what has inspired me to blog and run home and create. The power to take something from my imagination and put it on canvas is still very amazing to me. I mean I can give some credit to my parents but GOD himself is in me.
In my head I walk around with theme music. I want to put on cute artsy clothes. Its all I want to discuss with my clients and friends. However I now feel I a real need to sharpen my skills and get some formal training. Perhaps even a mentor in the art world. There are so many things to learn. I'm learning some hard lessons now. They say those real life experiences are the best ones to learn.
Then there are the times I can't get out of my head with all the ideas from what my next piece is going to look like to where should I live to be closer to an artsy urban environment.
I've been searching for some grant money online. I want to get my Associates degree in fine arts at Corcoran School of The Arts at the Corcoran Museum. I want to work on some really great pieces, so by the early spring I can start going to some Galleries to get some representation. However in the mean time I need to get some good pieces done so that I can have my own exhibition by mid October.

I'm even ready to start making the transition from the salon to my home. I figure with the high rent and scheduling my own appointments, I might as well. Of course still keeping it very posh and professional. Also staying up on the trends and education.
All this must still be in order with God has in store for me. So I must pray and sit still and listen.

I just have a very unshakable optimistic outlook on what greatness is about to unfold in this new direction my life is going in.

Family, Art and The Future

Sunday started off very very good even in the wee am hours of Sunday morning. I laid around for awhile but then I eventually got out. I did get to go over to the art gallery in north bowie yesterday. I am considering their artist of the month program.Its kind of not what I expected. But mmm we shall see.

Anyway I finally made it over to Shelly's and I helped out and had a really nice time. Taprina came as well.Her family was really nice.But before you knew it, it was time to pick up the children from their dads house.So on the way home the the cherry on the cake was seeing my brother I hadn't seen since my son was a baby.Before that I hadn't seen him since he was a baby.So it was a very happy moment.I stayed for a minute and got to see his sister Peahes but I missed his mom.
Anyway I had a wonderful day

Friday, August 15, 2008


In my last blog I vented now I'm back to being my creative self. I have a new blackberry,its red and new and shiny and new upgrades. I got my children new phones too. The best part is with all the instant rebates I paid almost nothing for the phones. The children are happy for the moment. 11 more days til school starts back up yay!

Now I've been working on these pendants to add to my Etsy store. You know like just some small cutesy but with just a tad bit of that handmade look to them clay pendants.
They are easy to make but not so easy to make so that they don't look mass produce but also don't look like cheap crafty crap. Anyway I'm going to paint and varnish them when I'm done. Oh yeah and I finished my abstract piece but it needs a coat of varnish. I like working with the acrylic paint molding paste. Everyday I think more and more about doing hair at home that way when I'm not busy I can be in my studio working on my art. Well I gotta run the clients are here.Also I must remember to pick up some batteries today. Between the camera and remote control and IMaingo. I can't function.
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