Where has my spirit gone?

I'm not in the Christmas mood. I don't feel the holiday cheer. Last year this time we had trimmed the tree on Thanksgiving evening and the house smelled like cinnamon and pine. The fire was crackling.(Well the fake one anyway) I had decorations everywhere.I even had Christmas playing in the house or in the car. It just felt like the happy holidays. I even enjoyed the malls. And to tell you the truth I didn't spend a lot of money. I had what I needed and there were always people stopping by. I had plenty of food, wine, and spirits to give. I love to give it feels good. My time, my love filled cooking, my happy energy, and yes even my money. Especially during the holidays. It feels good to give all year long. But this year there is a void I have a sadness in my heart.I don't know if its the craziness in the world or the craziness in my life or both.

Maybe the church programs will help me feel better. I just can't seem to get excited about anything right now.