Friday, August 29, 2008

Uncertainty

This fine Friday morning I sit here and ponder not only how did I get here but how do I get out of here and how do I not come here ever again.
My baby sis is moving out today. Yep her and her family are moving on to their own place.I should be jumping for joy. I guess I'm thinking about the uncertain move that I too have to make soon.
Its funny because I was on a road to what I thought was a recovery. Now over a period of months I seemed to turned into a complete retard when it comes to finances. Now I will be the first to tell you I've done my fair share of financial screws ups in past years. Especialy with my first house. But why is that when it seems that there is some light at the end of the tunnel. Some how I myself seem to blow it out. I'm a little jealous that she found a home first and had money to move into it. I mean realy...these people want some high deposits.Not only that but will be able to move in with all the comforts and sercurity she would normally be used to. My mom tells me that its a nice house with a great kitchen for someone who loves cooking. Not to mention for some reason I have a feeling she will do just fine. Its not going to be easy but something tells me they meaning her and her kids are going to be okay. As for me I'm very uncertain with very very little money and clout. Were my future lies. So I remain unsure but somehow hopeful. Even in the worst case scenario I'm pretty certain my children will have a place to go.

You know it would be nice to be able in the near future to be so together that financialy that I needed no help from man. I need God yet sometimes I forget to call on him I guess because unknowingly tend to think only I can fix my problems. Or sometimes I'll think this is a job for family member. It never dawns on me that it was him working through family. He put those people in place to help me. (Sighing deeply)
- watched the DNC last night and listened with tears rolling down my eyes at Obamas speach. I never how much things needed change until I heard that speach. His speach gave me new hope too. Now more than ever I feel if he is elected my dreams of being a business owner and entrepenuer are even more closer to grasp.

So today as I journey out into my day even in the mist of uncertainty I'm hopeful for what the future brings as far as my current financial status. I think about my grandma in VA and how she may or may not get to achieve the things she wants in her life but she always still enjoys the journey while trying to get there. Now talk about living life full. I need to learn a thing or two from her.

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