Thursday, July 30, 2015
Monday, July 27, 2015
Friday, July 24, 2015
Thursday, July 23, 2015
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Dear heavenly Father please let your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
I pray now for her family. God you are peace, your a comforter send your spirit to be in the presence of her family. Father expose the darkness and let the truth prevail. Lord let there be justice in the earth for Sandra Bland.
Heavenly Father I pray against the hardening of our nation's hearts not just those who are wrongful treated but for those who are in different to these injustices. I pray that the love of your son Jesus Christ of Nazareth permeates their hearts. I pray this in his wonderful and holy name Jesus. Amen
I am so grateful. I wish I could say I felt completely confident in myself but I am fully confident n the God I serve because he is faithful.
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
I feel like this journey has allowed some things gestating inside of me to finally start growing to full term. I feel like I'm about to burst any day now.
Some days I'm at the edge of my seat having an outer body experience watching my own life play out on the big screen. I know I'm about to be amazed at what God's about to do and the oil will run down and bless so many people.
The P.U.S.H. is happening and the labor has begun. Just wait and see....
http://bible.com/97/1jn.4.7-19.msg God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love. We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first.
I feel so wrapped up in his bosom. I want everyone I know to have this feeling. He will give you perfect peace. Water works have been on full blast when I think about how faithful God is.
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Today was pretty good. I went to work and did a new client who got a weave installation. She felt so blessed to be in my suite. She said it wasn't nothing but God that she happened to walk by and see me while she was looking for a new hair stylist. She shared her testimony and I shared mines. Whew we had church up in that room. Do you hear me! Then someone walked a new client down to see me and she set up an appointment. Another stylist gave me a walk in who wanted a weave but my price was too high so she left. But wow God is so good. He truly is my source.
I Love God.!!!
Tomorrow my church is having a cookout but it's going to be 96° plus humidity. Tomorrow is also the day I was invited to participate in a Periscope challenge from an online friend. But Periscope is still a social media platform. I really wanted to wait until Friday since that's my 30th day. Ughhhhh decisions decisions.
Seems like the closer I get to finishing what I started the more suffocated I'm starting to feel. BUT I WON'T GO BACK CAN'T GO BACK TO THE WAY THINGS USED TO BE BEFORE HIS PRESENCE CAME AND CHANGED ME!
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Perhaps something better is coming. I don't know but I have to just keep swimming. My vision board has me inspired so I will not be discouraged.
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Why? Well for starters staying encouraged... when looking at this from a human rational point of view it does not make sense. However neither does running standing in place on a hamster wheel. Yet that's exactly what I'd be doing if I don't at least try.
Monday, July 13, 2015
Today I did research on the total cost to get this business up and fully functional by August 1. It was not unreasonable but it will definitely take a miracle. When I say it's the perfect platform for God to show up and show off.
I'm not discouraged but I am sleepy. I also have to get up early to go walking with my mommy. So this blog is not going to be deep.
Just know I'm encouraged just sleepy. Grace and peace.
Sunday, July 12, 2015
On the last entry I was giving you all the back drop of how I ended up here. I left off with Fear Faith and Wisdom.
Did you know that the bible teaches on fear in only two contexts? One being good and the other bad. The good fear the bible teaches us about is fear in the Lord. Jehovah God is God of the universe. He is the Alpha and Omega. Fear in this case is more like reverence and respect for God's great and mighty power. Understanding that will give you perfect peace, comfort and joy as one of his children. The bible also teaches us that not having this healthy fear or reverence for the Lord could mean being on the receiving end of his wrath and anger as well. The same way it should be for children and their natural fathers. Proverbs 10:27-29
Now the bad fear the bible teaches about is the spirit of fear. This does not come from God. 2 Timothy 1:7 The spirit of fear paralyzes us. It will cause one to doubt, feel rejected, and ultimately cause us to not walk in our God ordained purpose. It's a tool the enemy uses to keeps us from from walking out our purpose which in turn stops us from being effective in the earth realm.
To overcome this kind of spirit we must learn to trust and love God completely. We must meditate on his word day and night. We must watch what we feed our souls, watch even how we speak over ourselves. We must bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. God gives us weapons far better than those of the world. Prayer, faith, hope, love, His Word the Bible and the Holy Spirit. 2 Corinthians 10:3-6
Now for the last few months I've had a burden for a space that was big enough to operate as a single chair salon and a art space not just for myself but for others. I say burden because it's not a day or moment that goes by and I'm not thinking about it. The burden grows stronger and stronger. So did the fear until I started on this journey and applying the principles I mentioned above.
In Matthew 17:14-21 Jesus was frustrated with his disciples because of their lack of faith when trying to drive out a demon from a young boy. Yet he still encouraged them that even the faith of a mustard seed can move a mountain. If we turn our eyes to God even in prayer and fasting and trust and have faith in Him and not our own abilities we can produce powerful results through Him.
As I look back over my life I truly see how God has kept me. I can think of times when I'd worry about how something was going to get done and week after week, after week, after week, it got done. Now I laugh when I catch myself worrying because he has never forsaken me. NOT ONCE!
Now don't get me wrong I've put myself in some difficult situations and suffered consequences of those bad choices but he kept me.
Saying all that to say whenever I feel a bit of worry trying to sneak in I just look at God's track record. I also carry on as though I believe as well. So I'm finally moving into my new space and believing not doubting it will work.
Wisdom is understanding that trying to expand or start a new business with no money definitely requires faith AND wisdom. Knowing my habits and being completely honest with myself and my capabilities. This is a risky move but quite honestly so was leaving Illusions, leaving C&K and so many other choices I've made. They all worked out for the most part. It was when I wasn't being obedient to God's word and will that I found myself in difficult situations. Like taking care of grown men even when I knew deep inside it was wrong because I was seeking love and satisfaction in the wrong places. Matthew 7:6 Or trying to keep up with the Jones as far as material things etc etc.
This platform will allow for a great place to impact people I may not have had the chance to do so before. It's a positive way through art, healing and love to share Gods word. However to whom much is given much is required. I can't afford to be lazy with so much that is entrusted to me.
and so it begins....
Friday, July 10, 2015
Fear Faith and Wisdom.
As I mentioned before I felt like the second half of this journey was about purpose.
Well for almost four years I have had the vision of my own space where I can work as a stylist and artist but also have enough space to host small gatherings.
Initially when I set out to do it I would have been dishonorable by leaving debt and burning bridges. I remember hearing a conversation that I wasn't even supposed to have heard under normal circumstances but God made those words she uttered very audible for me.
"When it's meant to be you won't have to do the wrong things trying to make it fit or work"
It was as if she knew my heart... Only God can see my heart so I said okay God I hear you.
So I surrendered and sought after God at the same time. I still left the salon I had been working at for 10 years to get some place quite. I went to a day spa and stayed there for a little over 1 year. There I was able to seek him without distractions and grow under great leadership at Rehoboth in VA.
Then I sought out a place to build clientele in VA which sent me right back to Bowie around the corner literally from where I was currently working.
Still keeping the vision for my own space I end up where I am now. However I wanted to expand almost immediately. But it just wasn't time.
Here it is over 1 year later and the space I originally wanted is now available right beside me. The very first room I did a custom mural in.
Here is where Fear Faith and Wisdom come into play.
Thursday, July 9, 2015
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Today I ran on the treadmill I almost did 30 minutes non stop. I got so amped up while listening to Gymstones For Life he is a Christian rapper that goes in. No where near corny like some I've heard. I mean even guys I know who love hard core rap are feeling this dude.
So after much thought and consideration I think I want to move to a larger suite in the Phenix Salon Suites.
I'm also booked for my first mobile paint and sip art party. I'm so excited!
I feel like it's all coming into focus. The distractions are like a bright sunny day. Everyone is busy being busy. But a storm will make you get somewhere, be still, be quite and listen.
There will be many storms in life. Some will even be tragic. It will seem like complete chaos in some cases. But we have to get quite and listen.
Psalm 46 tells us God is always there providing refuge, peace, security and ultimately victory.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Monday, July 6, 2015
So a feeling of anxiety was trying to come over me so I had to get out of the house.
It's 5:56 pm I ended up at regal cinemas.
First time I've been to the movies alone in a long time. You get so used to doing things with someone that initially you resent doing those things alone again.
I am having to fall back in love with being alone. Also remembering that I used to enjoy doing things I alone. Like movies, lunch, bookstores, cooking and going for a ride. Don't get me wrong those things are equally as wonderful with someone whose company I enjoy.
However I'm understanding the importance of being hidden in God. At first I didn't want to go back to hanging out alone because I felt as though I had failed.
That was just the enemy talking trash in my ear. Each moment alone is a wonderful opportunity to not only love on myself but to allow God to love on me as well.
Sunday, July 5, 2015
I'm still amazed at how each day that I seek God's face he always has some good food for me to chew on.
It's like he is filling in all the cracks and holes in me. Making me whole again.
Today I realized that although each day is better than day 1 there is still lots of work to do.
I'm still sometimes feel angry with Jay. I still sometimes think and want to say hurtful and mean stuff. Hurt people really do hurt people. UNTIL THEY HAVE HEALED.
I just stop and pray and ask God to empty me of anything that does not glorify Him.
God's word talks about meditating on holy and righteous things. So I shift my thinking to Him when I'm drifting into a dark place.
Back in the gym tomorrow. I pray that gets easier because right now I struggle through that hour. Lol
I have to remember to weigh myself while I'm in the locker room.
Saturday, July 4, 2015
Friday, July 3, 2015
Independence Day Eve with no solid plans for tomorrow as of now and no social media to find any.
The 4th last year was spent with him. Today at work was slow. I got off extra early. Too much time to think. It's 9:30pm which is still early for me. However I'm holding up. God is good. He is my strength, my peace and my comforter. I will get through tonight and tomorrow.
It's not the end of the world all is far from lost. I'm not mad at anyone. It's all good I've made some bad choices but I'm forgiven and my friendship is still in tack just with some much needed distance.
I have the most important things to me in my life. My family, friends, love ones, health. My relationship with God. I have a place to lay my head and I have my gifts and talents.
I am so rich. This little heartache will heal. God is my redeemer and he heals broken hearts. He never forsakes us. 😍
Thursday, July 2, 2015
I didn't call him or text him, I didn't run to food, but I did come home cry and watch an awesome message about in the meantime by Andy Stanley until I fell asleep.
Although I miss my friends and posting my art. I feel so much more clear headed. So much is going on in the news that will have you either distracted or finding yourself feeling angry. It does feel good to unplug but it also makes me realize its a false sense of connection. As much as I enjoy some time alone I can't stay that way for too long so thankfully work, church, and my kids have been keeping me moving. Surprisingly I have't been as prolific with my art. I pray that changes in this journey.
Anyway today's mood surprised me I really thought I was over the crying about him but apparently not. Can't wait to see what the next 7 days brings about.
Today's word is from Philippians 4:4-9
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Today was a good day. My client got more than what I expected her to get done and she paid cash and it didn't set me behind. Did I mention she paid cash?
Anyway today is day 5 of working out. I've been to my gym more times this week than I've been the whole 3 years I've had this membership. An hour of non stop cardio and dubstep or Christian rap.
I went to my small group womans meeting and was blessed. We went over our spiritual shape assessment test and gave feedback. But what truly blessed me was the message on Destiny by Dr Tony Evans.
Understanding that each one of us were uniquely designed for a purpose and that in God's eyes we are all one of his masterpieces. God was very intentional with each and every one of us. All the way down to our finger prints. He created every single person with specific functions for his kingdom. I mean how cool is that?! To be designed as a one of a kind.
It's like when you have a high end designer design a red carpet dress or suit that came out of the House of Dior or House of Chanel or House of Gucci. That's specifically designed just for you and no other celebrity will have it. These couture outfits cost thousands of dollars.
However God's designer masterpieces aren't just for show. They have a purpose and a destiny. One that can impact so many lives. I mean when you think about it.... WOW WHAT AN HONOR!
Can you imagine being 41 and finally starting to see myself the way God's see me. I let that sink in while I was driving home and I began to cry so deeply. I have been searching all this time for what He had already giving me at birth and it cost me nothing.