Sunday, April 12, 2009

Let me really set things straight....

Hello fellow blogger friends I hope your Easter was good. If you don't do Easter than I hope your Sunday was good.

As for mines lets just say weight watchers what? I used all my bonus points. Hopefully the scale will be nice enough on Tuesday to at least say I maintained.

Okay folks not to keep harping on this whole "swagger" thing but I was having a discussion with one of my anonymous readers about my post on swagger.

If you didn't get a clear definition before let me please reiterate.
The True Definition of
SWAGGER:

What is the true definition of swagger? Many people are curious for the answer. Unfortunately for most who search for the it,
they often find a "definition" of swagger that is false, contradicting and misleading to the true meaning.

FIRST, LET'S DISPEL THE FALSE DEFINITION OF SWAGGER...

Ironically enough, these so called "definitions" of swagger, are the EXACT OPPOSITE of what TRUE SWAGGER is.


To walk or conduct oneself with an insolent or arrogant air. FALSE
To be a bragger or boastful person. FALSE
To conduct oneself in an arrogant or pompous manner. FALSE
To walk with an air of overbearing self-confidence. FALSE
These are ALL FALSE.

These are NOT the definition of swagger, but the definition of a LAME.


The MAN OF SWAGGER is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of these things. The main reason for this is that someone with TRUE swagger does not need to announce to the entire room that he has swagger. The people around him just KNOW it, because of his aura and by the way he carries himself.
An arrogant man thinks and acts as if he is superior to others, in turn, causing others to think badly of him and dislike him.

But instead, a man with swagger looks to make others around him feel good. This makes him a desirable person in every way. People WANT to be in his presence, because he is fun, charismatic, pleasant and curiously different.

He has an element of mystery as well, which is intriguing. His charisma is thoroughly enforced because he is well groomed, stylish, suave and a successful communicator. He is the definition of swagger.

To top it all off, all the traits that he possess are NOT A BIG DEAL to him at all, but these same traits would be broadcast through a bull horn by an arrogant man, to the dismay and disdain of many.

FINALLY... THE TRUE DEFINITION OF SWAGGER:

1. How one presents himself to the world, the ability to handle a situation with a sense of calm and uncanny grace. The ability to maintain a healthy level of self-confidence without appearing arrogant.
2. The seeming effortlessness to a person's admired style, the way they walk, talk and dress.
3. The inability to be easily shaken by anyone or anything.


"WHEN YOU DO THE COMMON THINGS IN LIFE IN AN UNCOMMON WAY, YOU WILL COMMAND THE ATTENTION OF THE WORLD."

-George Washington Carver


The ELEMENTS of TRUE SWAGGER

Now that you have found the true definition of swagger, we can proceed with some of the finer details.

A MAN WITH TRUE SWAGGER...

SMILES OFTEN: The smile is highly underrated by many men. A man with true swagger uses his smile as a billboard to advertise his confidence. A genuine smile puts others at ease. A smile denotes happiness and happiness denotes success, because all anybody really wants is happiness anyway. Women are magnetically drawn to a man with a limitless supply of smiles.

PRAISES OTHERS: Self-confidence is truly shown when a man is comfortable, verbally bringing to attention the good things about others. When appropriate, compliment others liberally. But only if it's sincere, false compliments are easily seen through. People love to talk about themselves and they will love to be around you. THAT is the definition of swagger.

SHOWS RESPECT TO ALL : Nothing goes more contrary to the definition of swagger than a disrespectful person. A man of swagger, treats everyone with respect. He does not talk down to those serving or working for him, such as employees, waiters/waitresses, bartenders, etc. A man with swagger also tips appropriately and avoids behaving like a cheap-skate.

HAS NO TIME TO HATE: A man of swagger is above talking bad about others for sport. Dwelling on others faults for the sake of conversation is petty and lame to him. He's smart enough to realize that if those around him like to smile in a person's face and then stab that person in the back, that his back could just as easily become a landing place for those same knives.

DOESN'T ARGUE WITH FOOLS: This is key to maintaining any swagger you may possess. An intelligent debate with another person makes for good conversation and stimulates the brain. BUT, arguing with a fool, even if you are 100% correct, makes you look like a fool as well. People looking on will not be able to tell the difference. A fool is a person who is overly loud, vulgar, substitutes intellect and communication skills with profanity. From such a person, a man with swagger will take his leave immediately and with no regrets.

ISN'T SHY ABOUT LEAVING: In social situations a man with swagger will often "work the room". That being the case, When a man of swagger needs to move on, he simply moves on. He may have a good reason(as stated above), he may have something or someone else to tend to, or he might just be bored with a conversation. Whatever the case, he politely excuses himself and leaves. Whether he explains the reason or not is up to him. A man of swagger owns his "presence" and uses it as he sees fit, not allowing himself to become "stuck" anywhere. Besides that, he also realizes that absence makes the heart grow fonder, he will be welcomed back when he returns.

IS UNFLAPPABLE: A man of swagger is able to "slow the moment" in his head, whatever the case may be. This means that no matter the situation that arises, he keeps his head about him. He is never panicked. He is able to take control of a situation, when it is needed. He is able to follow the lead of someone capable of leading, if it is needed. He doesn't let the emotions of others escalate his emotions. He remains steady and he does not cry over spilled milk.

UNDERSTANDS THAT SILENCE IS DEAFENING: A man of swagger realizes two important truths. These two truths are as follows... First, many people love to bathe in their own ignorance and would love to pull you in with them. Second, that silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. Being that his swagger attracts people and attention, there will come jealous ones who aim to make him look foolish. They will throw "swagger daggers" at him. These are insults and mean-spirited jokes with the intent of coaxing an "unswaggerlike" reaction from him.
The man of swagger reads the situation and remains completely unaffected by these people, he simply converses and laughs "around" these people, in effect, putting them in a "sound booth." His silence towards the hater speaks volumes to everyone observing. The more the hater says about him after this point, makes them look obsessed with him. Soon others will be telling the offender to be quiet or go away. Masterful.

CAN TAKE REJECTION IN STRIDE: A man of swagger realizes that NO MAN WALKING THIS EARTH has not met rejection. Therefore he keeps his ego in check and moves on from rejection with grace. By the time the rejecter realizes their mistake, the man of swagger is too busy being accepted by someone or something else to be concerned. That is the definition of swagger if ever there were one.

IS WELL-GROOMED: The man of swagger always maintains top-notch grooming habits. In social and business situations he is NEVER smelly, sloppy, unwashed or unkempt. (Smelly includes the over-use of bad colognes.) He dresses well and understands what is stylish and what is not. He is ever aware that in order to be the definition of swagger he absolutely MUST be well groomed.

GIVES OTHERS SPACE: Literally and figuratively. Nothing is more annoying than being over-crowded by someone else. Annoying is contrary to the definition of swagger. A close talker CANNOT be a man of swagger, because he makes others feel uncomfortable. A man of swagger gives people room, he does not warm a person's face with his breath, no matter how pleasant his breath is. No one should be within accidental spittle range!
Secondly, A man of swagger picks up on the signs of other people, if he notices that they seem to be distracted or would like to move on. A man of swagger will give the person an "OUT" or simply move on himself. By doing this, he does the other person and himself a favor.

TALKS ABOUT WHAT HE KNOWS: A man of swagger does not pretend to know something that he doesn't. He understands that to be a great conversationalist, he should ONLY expound on what he does know and that he should ask questions about what he doesn't
know. In doing this he avoids being found to be a fraud, which is contrary to the definition of swagger.
He also understands that if he listens instead of pretending to know something, next time he WILL KNOW enough to expound on the subject without risking his swagger.

Now I had a list of ten men who in my opinion fit the bill. However once I went back over everything mentioned above... even I had to realize that in my life time I've only seen one man who truly posses every single quality of a man with Swagger.

That man is Mr. President Barack Obama
 

So readers if you are up for the challenge by all means please use the comment section to add to the list....

Now there are some who have some of these qualities but only a few manage to have them all!!

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