Friday, January 16, 2009

The Butterfly Effect on real life

Remember that movie...
Its was crazy. Its was almost like a choose your own adventure book. Almost...

Anywayz I often wonder how would my life be if certain things had been different.

Ex: If my dad had been... hmmm sighhhh I guess the word is.... stable and very active in my life. I wonder what type of positive or negative out come would have came from that.
Or even if my mom married while we were still little girls.

I wonder about choices I've made, were they based on the way I was because of choices other people made.
I think about everything that lead up to who I am now be it good, bad, or indifferent, it has molded me into the woman I am today.
I mean somethings you just can't help because they are woven into you from DNA of the ancestors before you.

Ex: I think I love the arts because my parents are artist. They draw so I inherited the gene to draw.
Here's another one my love for pretty junk and second hand furnishings and clothing. Or the fact that I love being naked. That all came from my Grandma on my father's side.

Its crazy all the what ifs...but somethings it just seems as if you have no control over.
My zodiac tells me (whenever I read about it) that a good relationship moves me to the core.
So am I always going to have a void if that special someone never appears. Then I even read how not only being born in that month but that specific day has some things to do with my personality and why I do some of the things I do.

Am I just hopeless in my lot in life. Lucy in the sky with diamonds. Why haven't I inherited the frugal gene or I guess maybe I should be grateful for the genes I didn't get instead.

I lay at night trying to stop thinking of all that stresses me so I don't dream about it. Just to wake up and its all back. I can't seem to turn it off and just live. Wouldn't that be nice to occasionally have the ability to go on auto pilot while your brain is at the spa or beach.

Without the use of drugs or alcohol people! I mean now really... my goodness you guys.

Seriously though... I'd go to the spa at least twice a month depending on how much overtime my brain has done.

But back to the butterfly thingy I do have somethings if I had the ability to change or stop, redo whatever I definitely would.

I guess its how you get wisdom though. But hey who's says that it has to be through your own experiences?
Because silly rabbit that's how most people learn! Its called "The Hard Way On Your Own" THWOYO boys and girls.

I say all this to say........hmmm......to say....oh crap absolutely nothing just wanted to share.
Peace and Love ;-)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

wow ur caught up in something...huh

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