Today I slept way longer than I wanted to because of all the issues my body seems to have when I try to sleep at night. My lower back pain and the weird heart, breathing, anxiety type of situation I have to fall asleep with my pillows propped up and sleep sitting up until it passes. So needless to say I didn't get to sleep until about 3 am.
Today I will go walking after I take an Advil. Walking is hard because I typically walk with no music so I'm left with my thoughts. Which always tend to turn to him. Honestly some days I'm so full of regret because of the results that I am angry with him for not being the man I need or wanted him to be for me. Some days it's much easier to blame him than sit with my own self. I knew the dangerous road I was going down but he didn't or did he?
See that's the funny thing about sin it always presents itself as pleasurable, fun, good times etc etc.
Then when it blows up in your face and then you find yourself trying to back peddle but it's too late then. So in order to mask the pain of the fall out afterwards you do other stuff. For me I eat, or watch marathons of TV series or movies on Netflix to mentally escape or peer into other peoples lives on social media. Even worse sleep my days away because the dream is always better than the reality. In the dream I have a home with this man and a thriving business and we are a power couple with a dynamic ministry. You will look up and see months and months of your life passing you by and more weight piling on and dreams slowly fading away.
That's how Satan works slowly stealing, killing, and destroying you and all your ordained divine purpose and destiny as well. Once you become ineffective you are no longer being used for the glory of God's Kingdom, which means you are no longer making a good impression on the lives of those souls you are called to impact for the Kingdom. John10:10
See that's the funny thing about sin it always presents itself as pleasurable, fun, good times etc etc.
Then when it blows up in your face and then you find yourself trying to back peddle but it's too late then. So in order to mask the pain of the fall out afterwards you do other stuff. For me I eat, or watch marathons of TV series or movies on Netflix to mentally escape or peer into other peoples lives on social media. Even worse sleep my days away because the dream is always better than the reality. In the dream I have a home with this man and a thriving business and we are a power couple with a dynamic ministry. You will look up and see months and months of your life passing you by and more weight piling on and dreams slowly fading away.
That's how Satan works slowly stealing, killing, and destroying you and all your ordained divine purpose and destiny as well. Once you become ineffective you are no longer being used for the glory of God's Kingdom, which means you are no longer making a good impression on the lives of those souls you are called to impact for the Kingdom. John10:10
Now I fully understand why keeping your eyes stayed on the Lord is so important Isaiah 26:3
and guarding your heart Proverbs 4:23.
and guarding your heart Proverbs 4:23.
So now what??? Well before a diamond becomes a diamond it's coal that has gone under extreme pressure deep in the earth's belly of coal mines. As the same with gold it's goes through a refining process where its goes through extreme heat then forged into gold bullion.
This new heart process is the same and it's more precious than diamonds or gold.
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